Divorce fundamentally involves navigating the complexities of loss. It marks the beginning of a process that, on the surface, might seem simple but often unfolds in unexpected ways. Many individuals embarking on divorce underestimate the challenges they will face, driven by a strong desire to close this chapter of their life. As you confront the realities of divorce, you might wonder: who bears the greatest loss?
In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we will explore the varying impacts of divorce on different individuals and families. While the outcomes can differ significantly from one family to another, certain aspects remain consistent across all cases. Our aim is to demystify divorce for you and transform it from a daunting enigma into a series of solvable challenges. Stay with us as we delve into these issues and offer insights that may assist you and your loved ones during this transitional time.
It takes courage to decide to file for divorce
If you are considering a divorce, then you have probably done so after a great deal of thought and care. Very few people jump into a divorce without first considering their options. There is too much at stake and people in your position tend to want to avoid the confrontation, changes, and everything else that comes with divorce if possible. When it becomes apparent to you that a divorce is necessary in your situation then you need to look inside yourself and determine whether a divorce needs to be filed.
Family members and friends may have encouraged you to try and stay in the marriage for as long as possible. Some of the most capable and thoughtful people that you know could have been pushing you towards salvaging the marriage by any means necessary. Not wanting to ruffle any feathers you could be the one who has tried to do just that. However, knowing when to pull the plug on the marriage could be the hardest decision that you have had to make.
Ultimately, you are the one who must either stay in or get out of the marriage. The daily impacts of the marriage on your life can be felt in ways that are both intangible and tangible. From where you live, to what you eat, where you work, and everything in between. That’s not even to mention the emotional and relational impacts of a marriage on your life. Long story short, if you have the guts to move forward with a divorce even when friends and family are telling you to stay married then this shows a lot of gumption on your part.
The guts to file for divorce does not necessarily equate to having a great plan
At the end of the day, you can get divorced simply by filing an Original Petition for Divorce in a Texas family court. There are additional details that you need to acclimate yourself to like meeting certain deadlines and completing paperwork on time, but otherwise, you can get divorced through little effort of your own. All that is in question is what sort of goals you can set for yourself and how good of a plan have you developed to meet those goals. This is how you will judged by others in the divorce and how ultimately you will judge yourselves.
Many people who start a divorce do so to simply make out of the divorce in “one piece.” This means that if you share the goals of these folks, you will want to file the divorce and then claw and scrape away until you get the case done and over with. While it is understandable to have a goal like this in this case, we at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan would encourage you to think bigger. Even if you have never thought about a divorce case in detail before, it would behoove you to begin thinking more about goals in a divorce based on your situation and how you can improve your life and those of your family members.
A goal should be specific. Saying that you have a goal to lose weight is good but saying that you want to lose 15 pounds is better. Next, your goal should have a time limit for achieving the goal. You may want to lose fifteen pounds by March 1st, for example. Finally, you should have a picture of what success looks like in your case. Working with an experienced family law attorney can help you achieve and manage all of these goals
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan offers free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are free of charge. You can meet with one of our experienced attorneys to learn more about the divorce process. From there, you can use this information to start to develop goals of your own. An attorney is a great person to have in your corner when it comes to not only learning about the divorce process but also focusing your attention on setting achievable goals.
The potential to suffer financially as a result of a divorce is a real concern
Many people in your position will choose to remain in a failing marriage if for no other reason than there are potentially large financial consequences that can come about because of a divorce. The financial security that you built up (or at least thought you had built up) could come crashing down because of the divorce. If you are considering the delay of a divorce because you are worried about your immediate financial future, then here are some thoughts that may give you the confidence to move forward even when doing so is not easy.
For one, there are almost always solutions to these money-related issues in a divorce. Whether it is temporary spousal support, a division of household bills where you pay only utilities, or a circumstance where your spouse pays your attorney’s fees, there ae almost always a way or two for you to get the divorce that you need while not putting yourself in a position where you are having to worry about how to feed yourself and your children.
This is a situation where you may be harming yourself in the long term to take care of yourself in the short term. It can be quite a challenge to see your way out of a situation that seems hopeless from a financial perspective. This is especially true if you have not worked outside the home in quite a while. Before you get too down in the dumps, however, it is a good idea to look around and ask and see what options you have and how outside-of-the-box thinking and planning can position you better for a divorce. Delaying the inevitable rarely makes the situation better.
Spouses who don’t work outside the home can lose financial security
With all that said, if you are a spouse who has not worked outside the home in a long time then there is no question that you are in a more perilous situation when it comes to your finances when compared to your spouse. Think about it in terms of what would happen if you had to leave the family home today with no warning. Now think about what would happen to your spouse in the same situation. It would be more likely that you would be the one who would be on much less steady footing than your spouse.
Why is that the case? You currently have no income, huge gaps in your employment history, and fewer job skills when compared to your spouse. This shouldn’t be a surprise. You may have taken a backseat to your spouse and worked to allow him to gain an education or job experience which has paid your bills for the better part of your marriage. Now you are looking towards a divorce and dreading the thought of not being able to pay your bills. Peace of mind is a thing during a divorce, and you would be the spouse who risks losing your peace of mind.
Take heart that a spouse in your position would not be left to fend for themselves in a divorce. Rather, you would be protected during the divorce with temporary spousal support which will help you pay your bills and meet your daily obligations. Next, you may even be able to stay in the family home because you are not able to afford rent in another place. Whatever the situation may be, you have options when it comes to your financial situation and divorce. Do not chalk it up to you a divorce just not being in the cards for you. Understand that you have options in this situation, even if you have not worked in many years.
Spouses who have succeeded financially can lose a chunk of their wealth
Now let’s put the shoe on the other foot. Suppose that you are the spouse who has gone out into the world and made something of himself. You have worked hard to build a career and a lifestyle for yourself that is enviable. Along the way you have earned a great income, made savvy investments and now have a home that is second to none. You have enjoyed all of this success with your spouse. Your divorce is on the horizon, and you may be wondering what can happen next.
The income that you have earned during your marriage is community property and subject to division in the divorce. This may come as something of a shock to you. However, the law in Texas treats most property acquired, earned, or purchased during the marriage as community property. Your income counts in this equation. Even if you went into the office every day for twenty years to earn that income and property it does not matter. Your spouse could have worked outside the home for a total of zero days, and she would be able to receive a just and right share of the property in your divorce.
Planning for your next steps in a divorce means that you need to be prepared to negotiate on financial issues. Just because you are the spouse who earned most of the income for your family does not mean that you will be holding all the cards in these negotiations. The law will protect your spouse to an extent. Community property law makes it unlikely that you will be able to walk away from your divorce with all the property ending up on your side of things.
Children end up losing out more than their parents
Put yourself in your child’s shoes; they likely have no clue about the divorce and will be surprised when you explain what it means now and later. Many assume children will cope better than adults, attributing resilience to them, and even expect them to offer support during the divorce process. However, children are not as equipped to deal with the stress and uncertainty of divorce. Adults have life experiences that provide context—understanding that challenging times do pass, and even under less-than-ideal circumstances, they can emerge okay.
Yet, children lack this perspective. All they know is a parent has moved out. They wonder if that parent will return, why they left, and if they are at fault. These questions arise because they’re directly affected by the divorce but lack the foundational knowledge adults have.
Remember, your child’s world is intertwined with yours and your spouse’s. While a divorce might be beneficial long-term, it introduces immediate challenges. Managing these expectations involves explaining the divorce to your child, considering their ability to understand based on their maturity.
Before you lose even more, contact an experienced family law attorney
As evident from our discussion, divorce can significantly affect everyone involved, acting as an impartial force that can impact you even before the first legal document is filed. Engaging a seasoned family law attorney can be instrumental in mitigating the adverse effects of a divorce. The value of a knowledgeable attorney—who prioritizes your interests, skillfully represents you in court, and negotiates effectively—cannot be overstated.
Divorce carries substantial risks, and today’s overview merely scratches the surface of potential losses. To deepen your understanding of Texas family law and safeguard your interests during divorce, we invite you to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our team is dedicated to identifying your vulnerabilities, advising on immediate protective measures, and devising long-term strategies that will benefit your family’s future. Thank you for tuning into our blog today, and we look forward to your continued readership tomorrow.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law as well as how your family’s circumstances may be impacted by the filing of a divorce or child custody case.
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Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
