Do you know that feeling of wanting to leave the house, but something just keeps you from heading out the door? Maybe the dog won’t go outside to use the bathroom first, causing a delay. In a Texas divorce, similar delays can happen for various reasons. Or your kids can’t find their shoes. A phone call keeps you occupied longer than you would like. Whatever the situation is it is a common experience. Wanting to do something but a person or even will not cooperate with your ideas. It is frustrating, to say the least.
This same type of occurrence can be found in the world of Texas divorces, as well. When you want to move forward with a divorce but your spouse will not cooperate, what can you do? Are you forced to wait around until your spouse is willing to play ball? Or are there other options for you to pursue? That is what we will be discussing in today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Namely, what are your options when your spouse is intentionally delaying the divorce?
Don’t delay your divorce in Texas
When you conclude that a divorce is necessary, then you need to move forward. Many times in a Texas divorce, it is the spouse filing for divorce who causes the most significant delays. Second-guessing your decisions. Trying to figure out if now is the right time to file. These are all delay tactics that you could use against yourself. Don’t be that person. When you know it is time to get the divorce on the road then make a move. Figure out how to file for divorce. Start by contacting an attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.
When you hire an attorney you are not only gaining that attorney’s level of experience. Their knowledge of the law is not the only thing that comes, either. Rather, you are gaining someone who is going to help you move your case from the starting line. We have all found ourselves in a position where we have procrastinated. This is usually associated with events and things that we find to be unpleasant. Nobody delays when they want to go for an ice cream cone. However, a divorce is another matter altogether.
Deciding that you need a divorce is one thing. It is a completely other thing to step up to the plate and request a divorce. That is where the Law Office of Bryan Fagan comes into play. We help people just like you move forward with their divorces and their lives. No more waiting around for the “perfect” time. That time will never come. However, there is the best time to file for divorce- right now. Once you know the divorce is right for you, please contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.
Talking to your spouse about the divorce
What plan do you have when it comes to filing for divorce? Does it involve communicating with your spouse about the divorce? For many people going through a divorce in Texas, it may not, which can lead to delays. Your plan may be to keep the divorce a secret until you serve your spouse with notice of the divorce. That is one way to go about things. It may also lead to a situation where your spouse feels blindsided by your actions. That puts him or her on the defensive. A person who feels defensive may not be comfortable working with you on a divorce.
Rather than put your spouse on the defensive about the divorce why not take the time to talk to him or her first before filing? It may not be a shock that you want to file. Easing him or her into her thought process can go a long way toward helping you alleviate their fears. When your spouse sees an Original divorce petition the worst outcomes may come to mind. However, by sharing the news with him or her directly you can alleviate many of those fears.
Consider your circumstances before deciding to talk to your spouse about the case. If you have legitimate concerns about your safety, then determine if it is in your best interests to talk to your spouse before filing the divorce petition. In a Texas divorce, discussing the divorce with your spouse usually doesn’t lead to danger, but it can sometimes cause a delay. That said, only you know your circumstances specifically. Consider the harms and the benefits of talking to your spouse about the divorce.
Negotiate early and often to avoid divorce delay in Texas
One of the lessons you can learn from other people who have gone through difficult divorces is to try and negotiate early. There is an incorrect assumption which many people hold regarding divorce cases. Namely, that divorces are determined by judges rather than spouses. As in, a judge is going to decide all the issues in your case so why bother negotiating at all?
In reality, spouses are the ones who determine the outcomes of their Texas divorce, and any delay often depends on their actions. It is not the “job” of a judge to step into a case and deliver a specific outcome. Rather, judges only intercede in the decision-making when the spouses are unable to do so. Even then, judges commonly make rulings that are straight down the middle. Do not expect a judge to wallop either side unless the evidence calls for it. Rather, a judge is more likely to issue conservative rulings.
If you want an outcome in your case which reflects your specific circumstances then please consider negotiating the case with your spouse. This does not mean that you have to like the other person. All it means is that you are acknowledging that there are several benefits available to you and your spouse through negotiating. The sooner you realize this the better off you will be. It may even help encourage your spouse to participate in the divorce more fully.
Why don’t spouses participate in divorces?
Some spouses will refuse to participate in a Texas divorce, which can lead to a delay. This can be for several reasons, but there are a handful that are more common. The first is a lack of understanding about the process. An assumption that many people hold is that a divorce must be agreed to by both spouses. As in, if one spouse does not agree to the divorce then the divorce can be delayed inevitably. This is not true. While it is possible to delay a divorce that does not mean that you cannot achieve a divorce if your spouse does not participate.
Next, spouses are afraid of making mistakes. Your spouse may have legitimate concerns about being taken advantage of in the context of the case. Put yourself in their shoes. You are trying to live your life as best you can. Then, your spouse thrusts upon you a handful of legal documents. You can read the title of one as an Original Petition for Divorce. However, the rest of the language looks like a foreign language. Your spouse freezes up, tosses the documents in the trash, and moves on to the next thing.
If you have moved out of the house, then your contact with your spouse may have already come to an end. That makes it even more unlikely that your spouse will ever willingly participate in the divorce process. There is a chance that your spouse is being malicious about delaying the divorce. However, it is also possible that your spouse is simply ignorant of the rules surrounding divorce. Or he or she may simply be afraid to proceed. Remember your communication skills and work with your spouse on this before you file if possible.
Alternative means of service
Put yourself in this situation: you have just filed for divorce in Texas, after considering it for a long time, you have finally decided to move forward with the case, despite concerns about potential delays. Now that the divorce petition has been filed you and your attorney are using the attorney’s usual process server. To begin with, your spouse has a right to be served with notice of the divorce. This means that you need to have the paperwork you filed picked up from the courthouse and physically handed to your spouse. This is known as personal service.
You provide the process server with a couple of different addresses to serve your spouse. They include your home address, his employer’s address, and a few family members of his. He moved out of the home a few weeks ago when things got awkward at home. You didn’t mind- it gave you plenty of elbow room to start to plan the divorce. However, you all have not spoken since he moved out. That puts you at a bit of a disadvantage on two fronts.
For one, you have not been able to speak to him about the divorce. This means that the petition being served upon him would likely come as a surprise. Next, you have not been able to verify where he is. Now that you need to locate him for service purposes you have been unable to do so. Whether it is because he is delaying on purpose or because he isn’t staying in one place all the time, he is now delaying the divorce. What can you do? Seek alternative means of service, that’s what.
Going to court to seek an alternative means of service
When it comes time to get moving on your Texas divorce, you have a few service options that can help prevent any delay. The first is to personally serve your spouse with notice of the divorce, which . This is the preferred method to provide notice to someone of a divorce having been filed against him or her. A citation is included with all your paperwork which is completed by the process server once service is completed. That citation is sent back to the courthouse. That informs the court that the service has been completed.
If you cannot serve your spouse personally then you have a few options that you need to work through. This is one of the most common “delay” tactics in a divorce. Yes, some people do attempt to purposefully avoid personal service. Your spouse may inform his secretary to tell the process server that you are not in the office that day when you are. Or your spouse may hide behind the couch when the process server approaches his parents’ home.
In any event, there are a handful of ways to serve your spouse when personal service does not work. Examples of substituted service include service by publication, posting of the petition to the courthouse steps, or certified mailing the petition to the most recent address of your spouse. It is not necessarily expected that you will provide your spouse with notice. Rather, constructive (or implied) notice is the goal here. Simply putting your spouse in a position where he is likely to learn of the divorce is the best you can do in a situation like this.
Act decisively to avoid losing time in a Texas divorce delay
Bear in mind that just because you have options when it comes to service does not mean that you do not need to make up your mind on this. Rather, you have a responsibility to yourself to decide when it comes time to select an alternative means of service. Working with an experienced family law attorney is a plus in this regard. The attorney can help you present evidence of your due diligence to the court. You must first show a judge that you have tried reasonably hard to serve your spouse personally with notice of the divorce.
Once you have shown the court that you have tried to personally serve your spouse the next step is to request a specific means to serve him. Service by publication means seeking out a magazine, newspaper, or other publication method (online) to serve constructive notice to your spouse about the divorce. Again, this is not necessarily expected to provide your spouse with notice of the case having been filed. It would be great if it worked out that way. However, constructive notice is satisfactory as far as moving your case along at this point.
These are steps in a case that most people going through a divorce do not need to concern themselves with. Most of the time in a divorce a spouse can serve their partner personally. However, these alternative methods of service are handy when you have a spouse who would otherwise delay the case unnecessarily.
Moving forward in a default divorce
When your spouse does not respond to your attempts at service that means you are looking at a default judgment as your goal. A default judgment means that your spouse did not respond to your attempts at personal service. Or, he may have been personally served but has not filed an Answer. When no Answer has been filed within approximately twenty days of service then your spouse is in default.
That means the ball is in your court to get a default judgment written. A default judgment allows you to create final orders in your divorce that reflect your wishes. All the topics in your divorce such as child custody and property division issues need to be accounted for. A couple of things to keep in mind here. Just because you are seeking a default judgment does not mean that you can include whatever you want in your final orders. They must conform to the norms of a divorce in Texas. A judge will review your final decree before it is entered.
One last point to make is that you need to have several documents ready for your final court appearance. This is known as a prove-up hearing. Going to court with a missing document is a recipe for having to go back to court later. Review the court’s website before your prove-hearing to learn more. Or call the court’s clerk and ask what the judge requires for a prove-up hearing. This can save you a great deal of time and stress.
Final thoughts on uncooperative spouses and divorce
Just because you have a spouse who does not want to participate in the divorce does not mean disaster for you. Rather, there are options when it comes to moving forward in a case. You need to understand what those options are and then move forward when you have made up your mind about what to do. Delaying your divorce case is the last thing you should do when your spouse is already dragging their feet.
Having the advice and counsel of an experienced family law attorney is critical in a divorce. It is especially critical in a situation where your spouse is not participating. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan thank you for joining us today on our blog. We hope that you will continue reading the blog posts that we publish each day of the week.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
