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Are you a mother going through a child custody or divorce case? There is a significant amount of stress involved in family law cases. As a mother, you are so involved in the lives of your children that the idea of being separated from them is inconceivable. In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, we are going to focus on custody. Can you lose custody as a mother? Or are mothers guaranteed primary custody of the kids? Could the truth be somewhere in between? Stick around as we work to uncover the hidden secrets of custody from the perspective of mothers.
Custody equals time plus rights and duties
For those of you who are wondering what “custody” means it refers to possession, rights, and duties relating to your children. Custody is not a word that appears in the Texas Family Code. The term “conservatorship” is a more appropriate term used to describe all three of these issues. However, what attorneys, judges, and clients use to refer to these issues is custody. Very few people would refer to your case as a “conservatorship” case. It is much more normal to talk to someone about your “custody” case.
From there, you would need to understand the different custody rights of parents. One parent is typically named as the primary conservator of the child. As the primary conservator, you would have the right to determine the primary residence of your child. For most parents, this is the crown jewel of rights within a child custody case. Being able to determine the primary residence of your child means being able to spend more time with your child.
It also means winning the right to receive child support. More time with your children and the right to receive child support puts you in a good position after the custody case. As a mother, the stability and consistency of your life may lead to primary custody. However, the best interests of your child are at the top of a court’s list of priorities. What does it mean to consider the best interests of your children?
The best interests of the child standard
Family courts across the United States utilize the best interests of the child standard to make decisions. It is presumed that you make decisions that are in the best interests of your child. If you and your co-parent are unable to work together to solve these issues, then a court will become the venue for solving them for you. Be aware, then, that you and your co-parent are in the best position to consider the best interests of your child. A judge will only get in between you and your child if a settlement cannot be reached.
A judge does have the latitude to make decisions based on their own experiences on the bench. Depending upon the age of your judge he would have seen a great deal in his time serving as a judge. All that experience comes in handy when trying to make decisions that suit a child. Typically, at the top of the priorities list comes stability, consistency, and safety for your child. Smaller lifestyle-related issues are not seen as being as important as day-to-day safety for your child. As a result, the home environment that is more conducive to safety and stability tends to win out.
Another factor to bear in mind is that the parent who has a history of taking care of the children on a primary basis tends to be awarded primary custody often. You may hear some parents, particularly fathers, complain that mothers always win primary custody of their children.
First, it is not true that mothers always win primary custody. However, typically mothers do win primary custody because they have served in that role previously. It is difficult for a parent to win primary custody in a child custody case when that has not been the role that they have played in the lives of their children previously. For that reason, your history as a parent plays a major role in determining the custody outcomes of your family law case.
Preparing for a custody case
One of the best things you can do for your family is to help prepare them for the upcoming case. In some situations, this will not be possible. You may find yourself in a position where the case has been thrust upon you with little time for you to prepare. In that situation, you may not have the luxury to prepare yourself not to mention your children. However, if you have time to talk to your children about the case then you should do so. This allows you to help them better understand the ongoing difficulties in your family as well as help prepare them for the next steps of a case.
Child custody cases are not constantly in motion. Yes, you will have particular days when important events occur that you need to be ready for. Examples of these events are conferences with your attorney, mediation, hearings, and the possibility of a trial. On most other days, your life will proceed much as normal. This is something that you can help your children better understand. You will handle the details of your case along with your attorney. Your children can simply go about their lives as best as possible.
Another important realization that many parents come to as a result of a child custody case is that their lives outside of the case continue. It may feel like your life has taken a ride in a washing machine. Everything may be scrambled and not as straightforward as it once was. However, your work and other obligations continue. Being able to have assistance in your case is an important factor. The better assistance you have the more time you can spend on other issues and aspects of your life.
Working with a family law attorney
Having the advice and perspective of an experienced family law attorney during a child custody case is important. As a mother, you may be focused almost entirely on the day-to-day well-being of your child. However, there is more to a child custody case than being a concerned parent. Focusing on the case overall, presenting and preparing evidence and negotiating are integral parts of a child custody case. An attorney knows how to help you approach these subjects with greater attention to detail.
As we just mentioned, family law cases tend to cloud your vision. Or, at least, to put blinders on you. Whereas the rest of your life is still ongoing, your attention is squared on the family law case. In a way, this is a completely natural reaction. Your instincts are telling you that this family law case is what matters most to you right now. Your family cohesion is at stake.
This is why working with an experienced family law attorney can make a tremendous difference in the life of your child. Needless to say, an attorney who focuses on family law knows how to get the most out of your case. While it is true that hiring an attorney does cost money you can think of that as a short-term investment into your long-term future. Many people who hire an attorney find that the gain from doing so far outpaces the financial investment. Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today for a free-of-charge consultation.
Does a mother need to have a job to win primary custody?
This is the $1,000,000 question- no pun intended. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan do hear from time to time that a mother can’t win custody of her children when she does not have a job. What we need to ask ourselves today is whether this is true or just a legend. For many families, being able to provide financially for their children is a struggle. As a result, both you and your co-parent have worked for as long as your children have been alive. It simply wasn’t an option not to have both parents working.
However, you may not have been able to work for several reasons. One would be if you or your child have a disability that prevents you from working. In a situation where you or your child have a disability working simply may not be an option. In that case, most of your time may be spent caring for yourself or your child. After the exhausting amount of work that is necessary to care for a child with a disability the last thing on your mind may be trying to earn an income. For this reason, remaining in a relationship with your spouse or partner could have been seen as essential.
On the other hand, you may not have worked because it did not make sense financially. Any parent whose child goes to daycare can tell you that childcare is quite expensive. Families it actually would not make sense for a parent to work outside the home at least from a purely financial perspective. For example, consider a situation where your co-parent has a well-paying job. In that case, why would you want to work if your income would only barely cover the cost of childcare? Rather than concern yourself with working only to pay for childcare you can stay home and care for your child.
Working after a child custody or divorce case
Being a stay-at-home parent is a noble calling in and of itself. Even before we consider issues related to a child custody case it should be said that stay-at-home parents work remarkably hard. This is not anything close to an easy assignment. Many parents would tell you that working a job in an office or even a manual labor job is less demanding than caring for a child. The stresses associated with caring for your child are numerous. With that in mind, being able to Work is important for appearance after a child custody case.
As the primary conservator of your child, you should not presume that it will be possible to live solely off of the income of child support. Child support is not a given each month. Even if you do win primary custody and are awarded child support that does not mean that you’re X spouse will always pay you child support on time and in full. Additionally, the same can be said for spousal maintenance or contractual alimony. Trusting that your ex-spouse will always do the right thing is a tenuous bet.
With that in mind, having your income is a great help to your family after a child custody case. This goes back to what we were discussing at the beginning of today’s blog post. Stability and consistency are critical factors in the life of a child. Being able to provide an income for your family is a hallmark of providing stability and consistency. By seeking work you show that you want to provide for your children independently. This can only be said to be a positive factor in the eyes of any judge.
Building your life around your children
One of the difficult aspects of a family law case is that it forces you to prioritize the various competing interests in your life. Saying that you want to be the primary conservator of your children is one thing. However, it is a completely different matter to be face to face with the competing interests in your life. We all want to be the best parents we can be. However, many of us also want to be able to achieve success in the workplace. To do that, sometimes we make sacrifices in our personal lives. These sacrifices may be temporary but they surely are sacrifices.
Amid a Texas family law case, a court will want to see that you have your child at the top of your priorities list. Ensuring that your work schedule does not compete with your parenting is an important goal to have. As a mother, your career may have always taken a back seat to your child. In some cases, this may have even caused you some degree of resentment against your family. Everyone has those moments of frustration where we feel like our lives could have been different.
However, those are usually just temporary and fleeting emotions. Very few parents would honestly say that they value their work more than their children. And it’s also very likely that you have built your work around your children and not the other way around. This is exactly what a court will want to see when it comes to the meaning of parent as primary conservator. Your priorities need to be in a certain order when it comes to issues relating to conservatorship. Not only do you need to be available for your children as far as time is concerned but also with being able to make decisions in their best interests.
Trying to find work as a young mother
One of the realities of a Texas family law case is that working tends to be important. If you have not worked for any number of reasons then attempting to find employment as a result of a Texas family law case is not uncommon. Truthfully, showing the court that you are looking for work is usually a good thing. Number one, it displays a proactive attitude towards income. Namely, you are not going to sit idly by and force your child to subsist only on child support. Rather, you are taking the bull by the horns and seeking your source of income.
Next, to be awarded spousal maintenance in a divorce you likely need to work, as well. The exception to this would be if you have a disability or if your child does. In most any situation, showing the court that you are looking for work during this time is essential. Do not expect that you will be able to when spousal maintenance while not working. Texas courts are not overly enthusiastic about awarding spousal maintenance in the first place. As such, showing the court that you are willing to work means that you are putting your best foot forward.
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan serves Texas mothers
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan appreciate you spending time today on our blog. We post unique and informative content about the world of Texas family law seven days a week. We hope that today’s blog post has been informative and entertaining. Thank you for reading this blog post and we hope that you will join us again tomorrow.
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
