Are you a concerned father who is beginning a divorce or child custody case? If so, then today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is for you. Our attorneys have walked alongside Texas fathers through many divorce and child custody cases. These contested family law matters require a delicate touch and a thorough knowledge of the law. Fortunately, the Law Office of Bryan Fagan and our attorneys possess both qualities. We are excited to share with you some information that may help your family during this challenging time.
Today’s blog post is going to focus on reasons why you as a father may lose custody of your children. Of course, losing custody is a general term. However, it is a term that many people use casually at the beginning of a family law case. With that in mind, we wanted to share our thoughts on this subject with you. When we talk about losing custody, we are referencing a situation where you may lose out on possession or visitation time. Losing custody does not mean that you will have your parental rights terminated.
Best interests of the child
In any family law case involving children, the best interests of the child determination will be made. The best interests of the child’s standard attempt to take into consideration a range of factors in your child’s life. These factors include your child’s emotional, physical, and educational development. The age and specific needs of your child are also considered. The best interests of the child standard attempt to be all-encompassing. When a court considers the best interests of your child it does so to gain a stronger understanding of your child’s needs.
One of the difficulties that many parents have in a family law case involving children is being able to distinguish between what is in their best interests and what is in the child’s best interests. Sometimes as parents, we assume that what is in our child’s best interests is also in our own best interests. This sounds great in theory but may not always be true. Rather, as a parent sometimes you may want things for your child that are driven more out of self-interest than the actual best interest of your child.
Being able to distinguish between what is in your child’s best interests and what is in your own best interests can be complicated. The court’s job in your child custody case is to differentiate between the two and help identify how your child can best be served in the setting of a family law case the faster you can identify what is in your child’s best interest the better off your child will be. In doing so, you also can help yourself achieve whatever goals you have for your case.
Child abuse or neglect
Unfortunately, a subject that is relevant in Texas child custody cases is child abuse or neglect. Ultimately, both mothers and fathers are capable of abusing or neglecting their children. To discuss child neglect or abuse in a blog post regarding fathers is not to insinuate that men are more likely than women to abuse their children. That said, since it is a relevant topic, we should discuss it here regardless.
Abuse and neglect of children is a subject that is governed by Child Protective Services. Child Protective Services attempts to help keep children safe from abuse and neglect. This is done through anonymous reports that are made to the state agency. From there, the state assigns caseworkers and investigators to look further into matters related to children. In certain cases, legal proceedings may be necessary to remove children from the custody of their parents. The extent of the abuse or neglect will determine in large part the actions taken by the state.
As a father, it is not a given that just because your family is being investigated by Child Protective Services your son or daughter will necessarily be removed from your home. Be that as it may, the reality of an investigation is that even an investigation into your habits as a parent may turn out to be something that becomes a substantial factor in your custody case. When meeting with a prospective attorney, make sure that you mention any history your family has with Child Protective Services. An attorney can better prepare you for your case if you are being transparent with him or her about your past.
Substance abuse
Drug and alcohol abuse relate to the issues in a child custody case as well. When you or your spouse have an addiction problem that brings into question your ability to safely care for your children. Imagine being in a position where your child is in danger. However, you are unable to care for him or her because of an addiction to drugs or alcohol. This is a real-life concern that many judges would identify as a deciding factor in a custody case.
However, that does not mean that you as a parent have no recourse when it comes to having an addiction to drugs or alcohol. For instance, if you have a history of drug and alcohol addiction but are seeking treatment for this condition then you can rehabilitate yourself in the eyes of a court. What you were a decade ago does not necessarily mean that you will be the same way now. Rather, your actions and attempts to deal with the addiction may be seen as a positive in the eyes of some judges.
If you are receiving treatment for drugs or alcohol this does not mean that you are going to lose custody. What it does mean is that you need to take steps and document whatever you are doing when it comes to keeping your children safe when they are with you. Talk with your attorney about how to address this subject on a practical level. It may mean taking less possession time now in hopes of modifying your order in the future. If nothing else, have a plan that is designed with the long-term interests of your child in mind.
Domestic violence
Allegations of domestic violence are part of child custody cases. You may be during a child custody or divorce case where your child’s mother has accused you of abusing her or your children. When you are involved in that type of family law case you need to be very careful. Even if these allegations are untrue that does not mean that you don’t have to take them seriously. Even allegations of domestic violence can sidetrack your case. At the very least, you may have to undergo counseling or have your home studied to provide the judge with more information about your domestic situation.
On the other hand, if you do have a past involving domestic violence that is something that you need to take extremely seriously during your case. First, you need to address the issues that you have with controlling yourself and your anger. This is not a judgmental statement. Rather, It is an acknowledgment that violence in the home is a threat to your child’s safety. Whatever steps you need to take to mitigate that risk to your child should be considered. If you have questions about how to protect your family seek out help.
At the same time, do not be intimidated by your co-parent if you have a history involving domestic violence. Rather, address the concerns. Work with your attorney to present an honest case to the judge about your life. Above all else, put the best interests of your children first. If you can do that then you offer yourself the best opportunity to show a complete picture to the court of your ability to successfully parent your children.
Violating court orders
One of the surest ways to harm yourself in a child custody case is by violating existing court orders. The more often that you violate the court orders in your case the more you will find yourself facing penalties from the court. Those court orders are not suggestions. They are specific guidelines on how you should parent your child. When you violate a possession or visitation order replace your interests ahead of your child’s. Not understanding the court order is no excuse, either. Before you sign any order in the child custody case make sure that you understand what you are signing.
When you violate a court order enough that puts you in a position where an enforcement case may be filed against you. That is where your co-parent informs the court of the specific violations of your court order period from there, she can ask for penalties to be assessed against you. In the event of the failure to be child support, you may even be assessed jail time.
Another consequence of violating court orders is a modification case. A modification seeks to change some aspects of the court orders. If you violate your existing court orders enough, your child’s mother may ask the court to reduce the amount of time that you can spend with your child. Before you engage in behavior that violates a court order talk to your attorney. Determine if you need to modify the court order first before simply violating it.
Co-parenting problems
One of the great challenges of a Texas family law case is having to raise children with a co-parent. It may feel like a family law case is the end of your time spent with your co-parent. On the contrary, your relationship with your co-parent is just beginning. She is someone that you are going to rely upon for help when it comes to raising your child. Your child does better when both of his parents are involved in his life. This is true even when you and your co-parent do not agree on much of anything now.
There are co-parenting courses and classwork that need to be completed before the end of a family law case. With that said, most of the practical efforts of the co-parent should be made by you and your child’s mother in your private lives. Being patient with the other person is a good start. We are all familiar with the saying that you should walk a mile and another person’s shoes before judging him or her. That phrase may as well have been introduced for a divorce. Divorce cases require that you display a certain amount of patience and understanding what the other person. A divorce is not easy on anyone. Even when your spouse has displayed bad behavior there may be reasons for that.
The divorce is the beginning of your co-parenting relationship. The more patience you can display at this time the better off your child will be in the future. You can begin to lay the groundwork for a strong co-parenting relationship by showing patience. This does not mean you have to let the other person walk all over you. However, by being patient and showing you have the best intentions for your child, co-parenting can work.
Parental Alienation
One of the most damaging yet under-discussed topics in all of family law is parental alienation. Parental alienation involves one parent purposefully harming the relationship a child has with the other parent. Typically, this is done through speaking negatively about that parent in front of the child. Number one, this is harmful because a child cannot counteract the arguments of an adult when a parent says something to a child that the parent automatically believes in most cases. Secondly, all of this is going on outside of your home where you cannot defend yourself..
If you become aware of parental alienation occurring it is wise to do something about it immediately. For a father, parental alienation may be a reason why you lose custody time with your child. If your child’s mother becomes aware that you are purposefully trying to alienate him from her then you will have some explaining to do. She may address the issue directly with you. At that point, you have a decision to make. Either agree to stop the alienation or suffer consequences. A judge will not look highly upon these actions. You can be penalized visitation time or even lose out on conservatorship rights in the process.
Additionally, your child will internalize the lessons you have taught him. Eventually, your child will come to realize that what you are saying about his mother is not true. This will cause the child to lose trust in you. Parental alienation may seem like something that can serve you well. However, it is at best a short-term play and at worst something that can forever harm your relationship with your child. It also ruins any possibility of being able to co-parent effectively.
Living conditions
As you go through the family law case make sure to look at your home. If you are living in situations that are undesirable for a child, then you cannot expect that a court will award you any type of favorable custody. For instance, suppose that you have rented an inexpensive but dangerous place to live. Once your child’s mother voices a concern over where you live you will have to defend your choice. If those living conditions are not conducive to having a child present, then you will suffer as a result. This means less visitation time and almost certainly no chance of being named primary conservator.
There is nothing wrong with a short-term stay at a family member’s house during a divorce. Understandably, you may not be able to find a suitable place to live immediately upon moving. However, this should be a temporary issue that you address as quickly as possible. To give yourself the best opportunity to be awarded and favorable custody arrangement make sure you consider where you are living.
Unstable lifestyle
Finally, one of the main reasons that fathers tend to have less favorable custody outcomes compared to mothers is concerning their work and other lifestyle habits. Sometimes this cannot be helped. If you work a job where you are on call for certain periods of the year, then that is just a part of your job function. On the other hand, if you choose to work a job where the hours conflict with parenting time then that may be held against you in terms of custody.
In a perfect world, you should build your life around your children. When that is not possible You should still seek to do what you can to present yourself in the most favorable light during your family law case. Thank you for choosing to spend part of your day with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
