Although this trick got its blog in many ways, it continues a previous blog regarding "Getting Your Spouse to Leave the Marital Home."
I have seen many spouses use the hope of reconciliation to get their soon-to-be ex-spouse to take all sorts of detrimental actions and jump through all kinds of hoops. Below I will give some examples of this trick in action.
Story #1 – Getting Husband to Leave the Home
One gentleman I met with told me that his wife still loved him but needed some space while they worked things out. If he did not give her some space, she would file for divorce immediately. This husband said he loved her too and would do whatever it took to save his marriage.
So, he moved out of the home and went to stay with a friend for what he thought was going to be a short while. Several months later, his wife served him with an Original Petition for Divorce. She asked for sole custody of the children and exclusive use of the marital home.
The Moral of the Story
It would have been a good idea for the gentleman to have first consulted with an attorney before moving out of the marital home for a trial separation. He could have discussed with a family law attorney a way to arrange a trial separation to protect his rights and not hurt his case should he end up in a divorce.
Story #2 – Wife Moves to Dallas
Recently I met with a husband who had just been served with a Protective Order. When I met with him, he was confused because what his wife told him and what was in the paperwork were utterly different.
His wife was telling him that:
- She wanted to stay married to him
- She needed some time to think
- The paperwork he had just been served with just meant they were going to meditate and figure out things with the kids
I let him know that none of what he had been told sounded true based on the paperwork he had been served with. The paperwork he had been served with said he had committed family violence against his wife. If granted, the protective order:
- Would give the wife an increased chance of getting custody
- Would give her an increased chance of alimony
- Would mean he would not be allowed within 200 feet of her residence
- Would say he was not allowed within 200 feet of her place of employment
- Depending on what he did for a living, may mean he would lose his job
- He would no longer be able to possess a gun
Understandably, this gentleman was troubled by what he had learned. I also found out that his wife had moved to Dallas with the kids. I let him know that I would not be surprised if, as soon as she met the residency requirements of Dallas, he may also soon be served with divorce paperwork.
I asked him what he wanted. The man let me know that he still wanted to marry his wife. I let him know he could still marry his wife if the Protective Order were granted. However, it would make his marriage more challenging if he and his wife could not live together.
I also let him know I judge people by what they do and not what they say. From what I saw, his wife's actions were telling him what she wanted, even if she was saying something else to him.
Moral of the Story
A protective order is a very serious lawsuit and needs to be dealt with immediately. If granted, not only would there be immediate consequences to the husband I met with, but implications in a potential divorce or custody case that might follow the protective order case.
The trial separation trick is effective because it takes advantage of the spouse's feelings and keeps them off balance and uncertain, which allows the spouse playing the trick to take actions and get things accomplished they might otherwise not be able to do if their spouse was more proactive early in the divorce.
As I suspected, if the case was heading to divorce, the husband needed to act right away and file his case first. Otherwise, instead of fighting the case in Houston, he would have to fight the case in Dallas, where she was currently living.
Additionally, if he filed the case in Houston now, there would be an increased chance of his wife having to move back to Houston with the kids, which would mean he would remain involved in his children's lives more quickly.
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Other Articles you may be interested in:
- The Dirty Trick of Stripping the House During a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Using the Same Divorce Lawyer
- The Dirty Trick of the Common Law Marriage
- The Dirty Trick of Getting Your Spouse to Leave the Marital Home
- The Dirty Trick of Fake Emails and Electronic Evidence
- The Dirty Trick of the Unenforceable Visitation Order
- Dirty Divorce Trick - Turning into a Temporary "Helicopter" Parent
- The Dirty Trick of Spousal Spying in a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Embarrassing your Spouse During a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Damaging, Destroying or Selling Marital Assets in Texas
- The Dirty Trick of Filing for Divorce in Another City
- The Dirty Trick of Moving Out of State with the Kids
- The Dirty Trick of Hiding Assets During Your Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Wasting Marital Assets or Going on a Spending Spree During Your Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Engaging in Spousal Starving During a Texas Divorce
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