Anything is fair in love and war. So goes the old saying that I’m sure we’ve all heard a time or two either in real life or a movie. From my experiences as an attorney I think it’s fair to say that that quote could be extended by a few words to include, “and also family law cases.” There is something about family law cases, specifically divorce cases, that brings out the emotions of the parties. It makes sense to me- after all, a family law case is centered around your marriage and your children. There are no more personal subjects than these in the world.
The reality of a divorce is that most cases are civil and most parties work together as much as possible to ensure a drama-free case. On the other hand, some divorces feature one or two parties that are difficult to deal with where drama is the norm. These divorces are not straight forward and bring out the worst in one or even both parties. The tough part is you can never be sure that yours won’t be one of these divorces until your case starts.
What would you do if you found that your spouse was going to make your life extremely difficult during the course of your divorce. Suppose that at the beginning of your divorce your spouse made it abundantly clear that information was not going to be easily obtained, violence may be a possibility and threats were going to be a common occurrence? Would you know what to do or how to counteract these measures to influence you and the court?
In today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC we will take this opportunity to share with you some examples of the “dirty tricks” that many spouses employ in divorces against well meaning persons like yourself. Do not assume that just because your spouse has never displayed these characteristics before that he or she will not choose your divorce to start doing so. With that said, let’s begin by addressing the “whys” associated with bad behavior, dirty tricks and divorce.
Why do seemingly “normal” people act poorly during their divorce?
The reasons why people do bad things or employ dirty tricks in a divorce are varied. No two people are created the same so there are as many reasons and explanations for bad behavior as there are people. I’m not going to attempt to sort of every possible reason why dirty tricks may be used against you by your spouse. We simply don’t have the space for that sort of thing. However, I do have opinions that I have formed based on my time serving our community as a family law attorney.
Fear, as it is in many areas of our lives, is a key motivator when it comes to employing dirty tricks in a divorce. Your spouse may be concerned that you will attempt to “take” your child from him or her. There may be financial concerns that you don’t know about that he or she is having. What if paying a couple hundred dollars in child support had convinced your spouse that he or she would go bankrupt? Do you think he or she would want to do anything possible to prevent that from occurring?
When an animal is backed into a corner he is at his most dangerous. The same goes for people, unfortunately. If your spouse believes himself to be in a position where he must do whatever is necessary to protect himself and his interests he will do so. The result of that fear are the dirty tricks that we will be discussing today.
The best thing that you are doing is working to identify these dirty tricks and learning how to combat them. Preventing them from occurring in the first place is the best plan but mitigating the damage that they cause and anticipating their usage is the next best thing in my opinion.
Violence being alleged that did not actually occur
I will say that most allegations of abuse in a divorce case do have merit. People are forced into positions where they need to ask a court for protection for themselves/their children due to the bad acts of their spouses. For these people, asking for a temporary restraining order is justified. However, in regard to divorce cases it is unfortunately not that uncommon to be confronted by a false allegation of family violence.
Sometimes the allegations are so unreasonable that for anyone to believe them the person would need to cease using their common sense. There is a certain degree of strategy at stake in doing so. Many people believe this to be a good mechanism to obtain a leg up in their child custody or property battles. The restraining order will not only keep you from coming into contact with your spouse, but it will eliminate any contact between you and your child for a period of time.
These episodes can become especially detrimental to a case in the event that the allegations are in relation to a child custody situation. Often times you will be served with paperwork where your spouse alleges that you engaged in some act of violence against him/her or your child. Hearings can be held as soon as three days after you are notified of the application for the restraining order so acting quickly is very important.
The end result of a restraining order hearing is that your contact with your children could be severely curtailed. This would put you at a severe disadvantage when it comes to fighting for your rights as a parent in the custody portion of your divorce. An affidavit (written statement made by your spouse under oath) will usually be attached to the application that specifies the act or acts that are the basis of the affidavit and application.
The tough part of this type of situation is that the temporary restraining order can be obtained by your spouse on an ex parte basis from the judge. This means that he or she does not need to notify you or your attorney of the hearing and can obtain an order without you present. Right or wrong, an affidavit is usually enough if the allegations made are significant or credible enough to substantiate the allegations(s) being made.
More on divorce dirty tricks to be posted in tomorrow’s blog
As it sometimes happens around our blog, I got a little too wordy today and could not fit all of the dirty tricks that I wanted to share with you into one post. With that said we will continue to discuss this topic in tomorrow’s blog post. Showing a false interest in your child’s activities (when none was shown before) or attempting to keep you from obtaining the best lawyer available are the topics that we will be discussing.
When it comes to combating these dirty tricks knowledge is power. You can do quite a bit of good for yourself just by educating yourself on the issues and figuring out how to identify them before it is too late in your case.
If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “16 Steps to Help You Plan & Prepare for Your Texas Divorce”
If you want to know more about how to prepare, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “13 Dirty Tricks to Watch Out For in Your Texas Divorce, and How to Counter Them" Today!”
Other Articles you may be interested in:
- The Dirty Trick of Stripping the House During a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Using the Same Divorce Lawyer
- The Dirty Trick of the Common Law Marriage
- The Dirty Trick of Getting Your Spouse to Leave the Marital Home
- The Dirty Trick of Fake Emails and Electronic Evidence
- The Dirty Trick of the Unenforceable Visitation Order
- Dirty Divorce Trick - Turning into a Temporary “Helicopter” Parent
- The Dirty Trick of Spousal Spying in a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Embarrassing your Spouse During a Texas Divorce
- The Dirty Trick of Damaging, Destroying, or Selling Marital Assets in Texas
Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.