The Houston divorce attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan are here to tell you that a divorce case is not only about lawyers and arguing and going to see a Judge to settle disputes.
To be fair, it is about those things. Divorces get messy, and the subject matter lends itself towards turning ugly if the parties are not being fair to one another or their children. However, this is the exception rather than the rule. Most divorce cases in Texas settle before they ever see in the inside of a courtroom. The biggest factor from our experience that aids parties in settling their divorce case is the attitude of each spouse.
The attitude of divorcing persons can make all the difference
If either spouse enters into the process with the attitude that they will resist and refuse to bargain with their soon to be former spouse it is likely that a Judge will be necessary to decide the case.
The sooner that the parties to a divorce come to the realization that, absent extraordinary circumstances, fighting over petty issues will not accomplish much of anything the sooner a case can be resolved and the parties can start the next phase of their lives. Emotional and physical stress, financial strain and time away from family are all avoidable if an attitude of compromise is maintained from the outset of a case.
Tips from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan on Managing a Divorce
If you are going through a divorce it is understandable to be upset. It is understandable to feel like you’re on an island and nobody else knows what you’re going through.
As with most things in life that are difficult, learning from those who have been through a process before is a great way to avoid potential mistakes. The following are ways that our attorneys at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan believe that most divorcing persons would be well served to follow:
- Stay away from Social Media
This means Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. Some clients of our office have expressed that posting something nasty about their spouse on an internet forum can act as therapy for them. A release of sorts. Our attorneys would advise you to resist this temptation. For one, the feeling of going on Facebook and trashing your spouse may feel good momentarily, but it accomplishes nothing productive in the long run.
Of course it is not only your spouse who will see what you’ve written but their friends, family and anyone else you are connected to online. Hurt feelings and resentment lead to fighting and lawyers fees increasing.
Remove the emotional component from your social media posting during a divorce and this alone will go a long way towards eliminating a great deal of anger from the situation. If you absolutely must write out your feelings about your spouse, try typing out your thoughts but then delete them before pressing the “Post” button.
- Talk to your spouse as much as possible
Instead of using your attorneys to facilitate conversation do everything possible to maintain open lines of communication with your soon to be ex spouse. It may be difficult to do but even discussing mundane issues like the new medication for your child can do wonders to deescalate a divorce’s level of hostility.
This does not mean negotiating the terms of a Final Order necessarily (though this can be done too) but it does mean not completely cutting the other person out of your life. You don’t have to love the person but you do have to work with them on the divorce or else a Court may work the issues out for both parties.
- Consider the other spouse when making decisions
Again, this can be easier said than done for a lot of people going through a divorce. If your spouse has hurt you (emotionally or physically) it is easy to disregard their thoughts or feelings during a divorce and worry only about yourself.
The funny part about that is once your spouse picks up on your attitude towards them, they are likely to reciprocate and act the same way towards you. If you want to settle your divorce case with your finances and sanity intact, you would be well served to consider the perspective of your spouse before saying or doing anything associated with the case.
- Keep the children out of your divorce
This is a side note from tip #2. Some people going through divorces find that when they don’t want to speak to their spouse, their can act as go-betweens for them. This is a bad move. The children’s relationships with you and your spouse can be harmed in a significant way if they are brought in to a contentious and emotional divorce case.
It is in the best interests of the children for both parents to remain active participants in their children’s lives during the divorce, but to not allow them to become part of the daily discussions about it. The children will not benefit from this and if a judge becomes aware that this is being done that will not be a pleasant morning in Court either.
- Remember that your lawyer is on your team.
Whenever I receive a new client, the first phone call I make to them usually includes a warning. That warning has to do with my role in their case. I will tell my new client that I am their lawyer and I will do whatever I can do (within reason) for a client’s case based on what they want to do.
However- this does not mean that I will not share my opinion or counsel a client when I feel that they are making a mistake. Clients may not always like to hear my advice on every subject associated with their case, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I only told them things they want to hear. My point here is that your lawyer has been through many, many divorces and has experience behind the words that he or she expresses to you. Communication is a critical part of any attorney-client relationship and I would encourage any divorcing person to communicate with their lawyer on any subject, no matter how difficult that may be.
Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan to discuss your Divorce
If you live in Southeast Texas and are contemplating a divorce, please contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan to schedule a consultation with one of our family law attorneys. Clients from Montgomery County to Galveston County and all points in between have experienced great results with our office.
If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “16 Steps to Help You Plan & Prepare for Your Texas Divorce”
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan | Houston, Texas Divorce Lawyers
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with one of our Houston, TX Divorce Lawyers right away to protect your rights.
Our divorce lawyers in Houston TX are skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan handles Divorce cases in Houston, Texas, Cypress, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.