Divorce, a significant shift in family structure, brings about profound changes in the relationship between parents and children. This article delves into the intricate dynamics of these relationships post-divorce, highlighting challenges, adaptations, and the resilience of both parents and children in navigating this new chapter of their lives.
Join us as we uncover the complexities and the pathways to maintaining a healthy and supportive relationship in the aftermath of a divorce.
Parent-Children Relationship After a Divorce
Whether you care to admit it or not, your relationship with your child will change after you and their other parent get a divorce. There is no way to escape this reality. In some ways, the manner you relate to your child and how they relate to you will be different. For how long or to what degree is a question that I cannot answer in this format. However, rest assured that no matter how intense the relationship you have with your child is, once you and your spouse divorce, the nature of that relationship will be put to the test.
As the parent, you need to take the lead and do the heavy lifting in helping your child transition from a two-parent household to a one-parent family. How well you help them in this adaptation process will determine the quality of life that your child experiences in the years following the divorce.
Suppose it sounds like a rather large responsibility that you have; as a result, then you would not be mistaken. I cannot emphasize enough just how important it is for you to help your child adjust as seamlessly as possible to your new life. To begin today’s blog post from the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, let’s examine the nature of the parent-child relationship after your divorce.
How to Help the Transition for Your Child if You Are the Custodial Parent
If you were named as the parent with the right to determine your child’s primary residence in your divorce, then you will have more possession and access to your child than your ex-spouse. Not an overwhelming amount of increased possession time but enough to have specific responsibilities assigned to you. Your continual and daily involvement in your child’s activities will play an integral role in helping your child transition into post-divorce life.
It would help if you were an involved, warm, loving, and steady presence in your child’s life during this stage. You may be hurting, and that is fine. However, it is a balancing act that you must learn to manage quickly. Helping yourself get through this time is essential, but in my opinion, your ability to help your child adapt is even more critical.
This does not mean doing exactly what your child wants or spending a ton of money on a new (insert name of cool toy or game here). You must be available for your child to talk when they need it, ensuring they complete their schoolwork and remain accountable for their actions.
Children sense unease and transition well and can use that to act out in ways that they may not have done previously. They might think their misbehavior will go unnoticed as everyone adjusts to new roles. You can instill a sense in your child that everything will be fine by making sure your child is aware that discipline is still a part of your relationship. This is not you being overbearing or “mean.” You acknowledge your role and your child’s role in your family structure.
How to Help the Transition for Your Child if You Are the Noncustodial Parent
With that said, your weekends with your child cannot turn into a free-for where the rules that your child has been learning at your ex-spouse’s home are thrown out the window in favor of a Lord of the Flies type life structure. While your child is with you in your home, you will need to work with your ex-spouse to communicate what your child needs in terms of discipline, support, love, and help with school work.
Hopefully, you and your ex-spouse can at least agree on methods of discipline and what your focus needs to be in that regard. This all goes back to putting your pride and ego on the back burner and focusing instead on what is best for your child. If you do this, I’m reasonably sure that you will arrive at similar conclusions, at least regarding the subject of appropriate disciplinary techniques and objectives.
Finally- take the time (when work allows) to attend extracurricular events like band performances, sporting events, and other activities. Your child will love to see you take time out of your day to attend activities that are important to them. While you cannot always be with your child, you can always make an effort to make sure you are an active part of their life.
How Can You Care For Yourself So You Can Also Care For Your Child?
Divorce brings a seismic shift not only to your personal world but also to your child’s. As your support system redefines itself and financial constraints become evident, the challenge is to manage your well-being alongside your child’s. Both of you are navigating unfamiliar emotional territories, calling for a delicate balance between self-care and parental duties.
Finding solace in simple pleasures—be it reading, enjoying a coffee, or a leisurely walk—is crucial. These moments of personal grounding are vital in a phase where life seems unsteady. Prioritizing physical health through regular exercise and nutrition is equally important, as it directly influences your ability to handle increased responsibilities.
Incorporating these habits into your routine offers a dual advantage. It not only aids in your personal healing but also presents an opportunity for your child to learn and partake in healthy practices. Broadening this support network to include extended family and friends reassures your child of the love and care surrounding them.
However, if these steps fall short in providing the needed comfort, seeking professional help is a wise and brave decision. Therapy or counseling can offer invaluable support, benefiting both you and your child in the long run. Delaying this could mean lost time—time that could be spent in enjoying life and nurturing your child’s happiness. Remember, seeking help is a sign of strength, both for your well-being and for the sake of your child.
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC
Children display some common behaviors in response to having divorced parents. If you have any questions for the attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC, please do not hesitate to contact us today. We offer free of charge consultations with licensed family law attorneys. Our attorneys represent clients across southeast Texas and are eager to show you how our office can help you and your family.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.
