Adultery has a profound impact on children. Being able to understand these impacts is important to families like yours going through a divorce. There are several aspects to this subject that we will discuss in today’s blog post from the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Unfortunately, children struggle emotionally and relationally when adultery is a major issue in a case. When your children are aware of the infidelity it creates a difficult set of circumstances for you to walk through.
Fortunately, the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is here to help you manage your case. Our attorneys aim to provide you with information geared toward helping your family. Along the way, we will stand by as you make decisions based on the information provided to you. In short, the Law Office of Bryan Fagan is your resource for developing a case strategy geared toward positive results. If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact our office for a free of charge consultation.
Do you need to prove adultery to get divorced in Texas?
Texas used to require a spouse to prove one of the fault grounds for divorce to end their marriage. However, now Texas is a no-fault divorce state. This means that you do not necessarily need to prove a “fault ground” for divorce within your case. Rather, you merely need to allege a discord or conflict in personalities so significant that the marriage cannot be sustained. In essence, getting divorced in Texas has never been easier.
However, there is still a place for fault-based divorces. Adultery is one of the fault grounds under which you may be divorced, as well. By reading the Texas Family Code you learn that adultery has a specific definition in Texas. It includes intimate, sexual contact with another adult who is not your spouse. Therefore, not every type of infidelity fits the definition of adultery in a divorce context. Working with an experienced family law attorney helps you to be able to figure out where your case stands.
Why bother trying to prove adultery if you can obtain a no-fault divorce?
Getting divorced on a no-fault basis is “easier” than going through a fault-based divorce. For one, you don’t necessarily have to prove any condition precedent to be divorced on a no-fault basis. Secondly, there are typically fewer hard feelings between spouses in a no-fault divorce. However, a divorce based on fault grounds can be important. This is especially true if you are trying to accomplish two things.
First, a disproportionate share of your community estate may be awarded to you in a case involving fault grounds. The idea here is that because your spouse went out of his way to engage in behavior that directly led to the divorce, you should be rewarded by being put in this position. That award is to provide you with more than half of your divisible property. Depending upon the size of your marital estate this can be a significant amount of property.
Second, you may be awarded more favorable parental rights and duties in the divorce. By alleging and proving a fault ground for divorce you can win more visitation or custody time. Additionally, fault grounds may display a lesser ability of your spouse to make good decisions on behalf of your children. As a result, expect that your spouse will have a limited range of decision-making rights on behalf of your children.
Where do you allege a fault ground for divorce?
When you believe that a fault ground, such as adultery, is relevant to your divorce you would make that allegation in a divorce petition. This is the initial pleading in a divorce case. It introduces the court to you and your family. It is not a long document but it is important. Once the petition is filed it would be served upon your spouse. This is the starting point for a divorce.
On the other hand, even if your spouse files for divorce you are still able to present an argument based on fault grounds. This is done by filing a counterpetition. The counterpetition serves the same purpose as the original petition filed by your spouse. A counterpetition alleges grounds for divorce and any other requests for relief from the court.
Alleging a fault ground for divorce is not the tricky part. An allegation is just that- an argument based on no evidence at the moment. Rather, you will need to substantiate that allegation for it to matter in your divorce. That means collecting evidence and having it entered into the record of your case. This is no small task.
Do you need to hire an attorney for your divorce?
The word “need” can take on multiple meanings in this context. In a strictly legal sense, you do not need to hire an attorney for a divorce. As in, you are not legally required to be represented by an attorney. However, understanding the adultery impact divorce can be complex. Having an attorney may be beneficial, especially when dealing with the adultery impact divorce on your case.
Many people who go through a divorce find that the facts and circumstances are unfamiliar. This is particularly true when assessing the adultery impact divorce. For you to feel confident navigating your case, having clear goals and a plan is essential. An experienced family law attorney can help with understanding the adultery impact divorce and provide guidance. Think of an attorney like a sherpa guiding you up a long mountain hike. It is normal to feel nervous about the adultery impact divorce, but having the assistance of an attorney can boost your confidence.
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan go the extra mile when it comes to providing prospective clients with information about their cases. Our attorneys offer free-of-charge consultations six days a week. These consultations provide potential clients with more information about their case and how the law interacts with it. That is the advantage of working alongside the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our attorneys know the lay of the land and we will help you gain solid footing based on your specific circumstances.
Adultery and its impact on your child
Without a doubt, every situation regarding adultery is different. What your family has gone through is different from what your neighbor across the street experienced in their divorce. However, you can consider the individual circumstances of your case and assess the adultery impact divorce. How profound is the adultery impact divorce on your family? What can you do to help your children at this time? What are the issues you need to look for?
To start with, your children may not be aware of the adultery. Adultery is largely an act that occurs behind closed doors. Many spouses in your position find out about adultery by looking at bank statements or finding receipts. Occasionally, you will hear about spouses learning about their partner’s infidelity through social media. Most of the time, cheating spouses try to hide their bad actions from the world, including their children. Understanding the adultery impact divorce can be challenging, as it often remains concealed.
You know your family better than anyone. At the end of the day, you are in a position to determine the adultery impact divorce on your children. Depending upon their age, you probably do not want to talk to them too much about the details. Younger children cannot understand what is going on, while older children could understand but you may not want to cast your spouse in a negative light in front of them. The point being—if your children would have no way of knowing about the cheating, then you may not want to make them aware of the adultery impact divorce.
What if the cheating has been out in the open?
It is a different story altogether if your spouse has been cheating on you publicly. Admittedly, this does not happen a lot. However, if your spouse has done something to cause your children to be aware of the cheating then you almost always need to address it with your children. They will have questions about what is happening and who the other person is. Ideally, your spouse should take the lead in discussing it with your kids. Taking responsibility for their actions and explaining them the best that he or she can.
However, if your spouse is not coming forward and accepting responsibility then that job falls to you. Do not let the opportunity to address your children directly about the cheating pass you by. Obviously, for very young children the discussion does not need to be had. Little kids who are before-school-aged have no concept of cheating or infidelity. Now is probably not the time to introduce the subject to them.
Older children understand relationships or at least the structure of your marriage. That another person would insert themselves into your family dynamic seems fundamentally wrong to children. Even though they do not understand the extent of the emotional or relational trauma that comes with infidelity, older kids do see the impact on your family unit. As a result, talk to your children about what you know and what may be upcoming. Minimize the surprises that may be coming with the divorce.
Your future family dynamics
Children ask questions from a very young age. I’m sure every parent reading this blog post has been inundated with questions from their kids about a variety of subjects. These are usually well-intentioned, sweet-natured questions about what the kids observe. Younger children are not ready to make inferences based on what they see. Small kids see things in front of them and naturally have questions. Then the kids look to you for guidance and support in those questions.
On the other hand, older kids can understand the dynamic better and need to be provided with more information. Begin by addressing the issue most pressing for the children. Namely, that the infidelity is in no way their fault. This may seem like an odd point to make with children. However, children tend to see things from their perspective first and foremost. “How am I related to all this?” With that mindset, your children may see themselves as a possible cause of the disintegration of your family.
Help your children to understand that they did not play a role in any of the events unfolding before them. Do your best to reassure your children that they are loved and cared for. With all that said, even though they did not cause harm in the family there are still going to be impacts to their lives. How you approach this subject depends, again, on the ages and specific needs of your children.
Creating the best possible future for your children
Adultery in the home may not impact visitation with your children all that much. Visitation plans exist for the noncustodial parent. This is the parent who pays the children and the children do not live with them on a primary basis. Since this is likely the arrangement your spouse will end up with let’s discuss visitation from this vantage point. If your spouse cheated on you but did not make it public then you may not have a strong case to restrict his visitation. Again, the nature of the infidelity is important.
Visitation may need to be restricted or decreased for your spouse if he has a history of bringing his significant other around your children in a home environment. Let’s say that the two of you separated a few months ago. At that time, your spouse brought his girlfriend around his rented home when your children were there. This happened multiple times before you found out about it from your daughter. This is a situation where your spouse’s judgment is seriously in question. As a result, restricted or even supervised visitation may be necessary for some time.
Confused about how to handle this aspect of the case? Unaware of your visitation options in negotiation? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys have the experience you need to be able to walk you through your options. We can address the major issues of your case. From there, you can use that information to make better decisions about how to proceed and what you can do to help your children.
Rights and duties of your co-parent after cheating
The conservatorship side of the equation is another aspect of this discussion. Don’t forget that your co-parent and you share rights and duties concerning your children. This is the subject of conservatorship. Possession and visitation are elements of this topic but are not the entirety of it. As a result, parents like you need to focus their attention on how to structure the rights and duties shared by you and your co-parent.
Families like yours who have fault grounds for the divorce are in a unique position. The adultery in your case may rise to the level of drawing into question the judgment of your spouse. Can he or she be trusted to make good decisions for your children? Would he or she ever leave the children unsupervised to spend time with their significant other? Has that behavior already happened? These are the sorts of questions that you need to be asking yourself.
Take into consideration what has already happened to determine how best to move forward. Understandably, you would be upset at this moment. Nobody would ask you to overlook the actions of your spouse. However, the specific actions of your spouse need to be balanced against the best interests of your children. This is not an easy exercise to work on. Having an attorney who has walked with people in your position before certainly helps.
Final thoughts on adultery, divorce, and children
There is no “one size fits all” prescription when it comes to divorce. Ideally, you and your spouse will figure out what works best for your family together. However, when that is not possible you would need to consider other options. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan know how to help parents in your shoes. We help put you in a position where you can make wise decisions for your family now and in the future.
Thank you for joining us today on our blog. We post unique and informative blogs each day of the week. To find out more about our office please contact us today. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Questions about the material contained in today’s blog post? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan offer free of charge consultations six days a week in person, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are a great way for you to learn more about the world of Texas family law. Before signing a document or negotiating on a subject you do not know well, contact our office. We look forward to the opportunity of serving you during an important part of your life. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan is on your side.
Evan Hochschild was raised in Houston, TX and graduated from Cypress Creek High School. He went on to graduate from Southwestern University in Georgetown, TX with an undergraduate degree in Political Science. While in college, Evan was a four-year letterman on the Cross Country team.
Following in the footsteps of his grandfather and uncle before him, Evan attended law school after he completed in his undergraduate studies. He graduated from St. Mary’s University School of Law and has practiced in a variety of areas in the law- including family law.
Mr. Hochschild is guided by principles which place the interests of clients first. Additionally, Evan seeks to provide information and support for his clients with the heart of a teacher.
Evan and his wife have four small children together. He enjoys afternoons out and about with his family, teaching Sunday school at his church and exercising. A veteran attorney of fourteen years, Mr. Hochschild excels in communicating complex ideas in family law simply and directly.
