Picture this: You’re scrolling through your social media feed when suddenly you see a post that makes your jaw drop. It’s a cringe-worthy, private moment of a friend who’s going through a messy divorce. You can’t help but think, “Yikes, how did it come to this?” Embarrasing your spouse during a Texas divorce is a common tactic, but it involves more than just hurt feelings—it can trigger serious legal, psychological, and financial consequences. Whether you’re wondering can you sue a mistress in Texas or thinking about exposing private messages, the law may not be on your side.
Short Answer: Is embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce worth it? Absolutely not!
Here’s why:
- Legal Consequences: It could backfire and impact your divorce settlement.
- Psychological Impact: The emotional toll can be devastating for both parties.
- Child Custody Issues: It might affect who gets primary custody of the kids.
- Financial Costs: Prolonged legal battles can drain your wallet.
But wait, there’s more! We’ll dive into real-life examples, explore the emotional rollercoaster, and provide tips on how to handle divorce with grace and dignity. Stick around to learn about the drama, the fallout, and why taking the high road is always the best route. Trust us, you don’t want to miss this!
Serving Your Spouse in an Embarrassing Place

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand that embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce is a tactic often used to gain an upper hand. One common method is serving divorce papers at an embarrassing location. This might be done intentionally or out of necessity.
Under the Texas Rules of Civil Procedure, a spouse may be personally served at home, at work, or anywhere they can legally be located. There is no prohibition against service at a workplace or hospital, provided the service is carried out lawfully by an authorized process server, sheriff, or constable. However, if service is done in a harassing or improper manner, a court may intervene. However, many of our clients have experienced being served at their workplace specifically to embarrass them. This often happens even though they still live in the same home. This unnecessary public exposure can be incredibly distressing.
For example, a colleague recently shared that her husband’s brother received divorce papers while he was hospitalized after a car accident. The process server laid the paperwork on him while he lay in bed. This action added to his distress during an already difficult time.
While these gestures may provide a temporary sense of satisfaction, it’s crucial to remember that such actions can provoke retaliation. Your spouse might find ways to embarrass you in return, which can turn your divorce into a drawn-out, expensive, and emotionally draining ordeal.
Additionally, navigating the complexities of invasive visual recording cases can add another layer of difficulty to your divorce proceedings. Texas Penal Code § 21.16 prohibits unlawful disclosure or promotion of intimate visual material. The statute has been revised following constitutional challenges and remains enforceable in amended form. It’s essential to approach these sensitive issues with care and seek professional legal advice to avoid escalating the situation further.
Revealing Personal Information to Friends and Family
In one of our divorce cases, we represented a wife who was accused of adultery. In that case, the only evidence the husband had that adultery had taken place was some very graphic emails / online chat sessions.
Texas Family Code § 6.003 defines adultery as voluntary sexual intercourse of a married person with someone who is not their spouse. While graphic emails and chats might be considered cheating, those alone do not meet the legal definition of adultery. Depending on the content they might be evidence that adultery took place
The husband in that case in an act of revenge let family members and friends know about the emails and chats.
Perhaps a more famous example of this would be when Tiger Wood’s wife released a bunch of his Text messages showing that her husband had been having an affair.
Unlike in Tiger Woods case your text messages, chats, or emails are unlikely to land you on late night talk shows or celebrity gossip sites.
However, you should keep in mind that just like in these two cases your communications may eventually become part of a divorce or family law case and perhaps the contents revealed to friends or family in an act of spite by your ex.
Confronting the Paramore
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand that turnabout is often considered fair play during contentious divorces. Two of our most popular blog topics are “Can I sue the mistress?” and “Is adultery against the law?”
Texas does not recognize alienation of affection claims. This means you generally cannot sue someone simply for having an affair with your spouse. However, the third party may be subpoenaed, deposed, or called as a witness if relevant to the divorce case.
Embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce can take many forms, especially when it involves confronting the mistress. This confrontation can manifest as:
- Calling
- Showing up at the residence of the mistress
- Subpoenaing the mistress to appear in court as a witness
- Deposing the mistress
The motivations for these actions vary. If significant property is at stake, proving adultery may justify requesting a disproportionate share of the marital estate. Texas is a community property state, and courts may consider fault, including adultery, when dividing property. In cases where property isn’t a major concern, the reasoning often leans towards revenge by embarrassing the mistress or the spouse. While you cannot undo the fact that your spouse has cheated, you can compel your ex and the mistress to:
- Appear in court and answer embarrassing questions
- Sit in a room with your attorney and answer embarrassing questions
Moreover, understanding the art of negotiating with a narcissist is crucial in these scenarios. When dealing with a spouse who exhibits narcissistic traits, the negotiation process can become even more complex and emotionally taxing. The team at the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC has the expertise to navigate these challenging interactions. We ensure that your interests are protected while minimizing unnecessary drama and confrontation.
Revenge Porn

At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand the devastating impact that embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce can have, especially through actions like revenge porn. Revenge porn involves sharing intimate pictures or videos without consent, typically obtained during a personal relationship. After the relationship ends, the individual posts these images online or gives them to another person to post.
Victims of revenge porn often face severe repercussions, including threats, harassment, stalking, job loss, or having to change schools. Initially, victims had limited legal remedies for revenge porn. However, the Texas Legislature addressed this issue by passing new statutes related to revenge porn in 2015.
Although none of my clients have directly faced threats of revenge porn, it has been an issue in some of our cases. For example, our office represented a husband and father against his ex-wife and mother. She had filmed her encounters with her married boyfriend. When things soured between them, she threatened to send the film to his wife and the school where he worked unless he paid her off. Despite him paying, she sent the film anyway.
This act violated several Texas laws, leading to criminal charges against her. The case made the news, and she ultimately lost custody in court.
When determining conservatorship and possession, Texas courts apply the best interest of the child standard under Texas Family Code § 153.002. At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we focus on protecting your rights and helping you navigate these challenging situations. Our goal is to ensure that you can move forward with dignity and security.
Under Texas Penal Code section 21.16.
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand the serious implications of embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce. One particularly damaging method involves the unlawful disclosure or promotion of intimate visual material, commonly referred to as “revenge porn.”
A person commits the offense of “unlawful disclosure or promotion of intimate visual material” by:
- Disclosing, threatening to disclose, or promoting intimate visual material without the effective consent of the depicted person.
- Intentionally disclosing visual material that shows another person with their intimate parts exposed or engaged in sexual conduct, and obtained or created in circumstances where privacy was expected, constitutes a serious violation of privacy rights.
- Causing harm to the depicted person through the disclosure, revealing their identity in any manner.
An individual commits an offense by threatening to disclose revenge porn if:
- The person intentionally threatens to disclose, without the consent of the depicted person, visual material depicting another person with their intimate parts exposed or engaged in sexual conduct, making the threat to obtain a benefit or in connection with the threatened disclosure.
A person can also commit an offense by promoting revenge porn if:
- Knowing the character and content of the visual material, the person promotes it on an Internet website or another forum for publication that they own or operate.
Furthermore, the importance of presenting compelling evidence exhibits cannot be overstated in these cases. At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand that strong evidence is critical to protecting our clients’ rights and achieving favorable outcomes. Whether you face allegations of revenge porn or any other form of embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce, our experienced team is committed to gathering and presenting the necessary evidence to support your case effectively.
Civil Cause of Action – CPRC Ch. 98B
Not only did the legislature make revenge porn punishable as a crime, it also created a civil cause of action. In 2015, the Texas Legislature also created a cause of action for victims of revenge porn.
This means the person who posted the video:
- Can be sued for financial damages by the victim and
- be held criminal responsible for their behavior
A defendant is liable to a person depicted in intimate visual material for damages arising from the disclosure of the material if:
- the defendant discloses the intimate visual material without the effective consent of the depicted person;
- the intimate visual material was obtained by the defendant or created under circumstances in which the depicted person had a reasonable expectation that the material would remain private;
- the disclosure of the intimate visual material causes harm to the depicted person; and
- the disclosure of the intimate visual material reveals the identity of the depicted person in any manner…
A defendant is liable to a person depicted in intimate visual material for damages arising from the promotion of the material if:
- knowing the character and content of the material,
- the defendant promotes intimate visual material…on an Internet website or other forum for publication that is owned or operated by the defendant.
A plaintiff can sue for actual damages, mental anguish damages, attorney’s fees, and exemplary damages. A court can also grant injunctions against the disclosure or promotion. Statutory damages of at least $1,000 per violation or actual damages, whichever is greater, as provided under the current version of the statute.
Online Impersonation
At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we understand that embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce can lead to serious legal complications and emotional distress. When emotions run high, people may say or do hurtful things, and one such troubling behavior is online impersonation.
A notable case of online impersonation made headlines on June 25, 2015, when ex-Galveston Judge Chris Dupuy was arrested for creating fake escort ads purportedly posted by a former girlfriend. These ads featured the woman’s photos and labeled her as “VERY FETISH FRIENDLY.” The investigation traced these ads back to Chris Dupuy, leading to his arrest on two counts of online impersonation.
Dupuy spent 11 months in a Galveston County jail awaiting trial. However, a Galveston County District Court judge eventually tossed the charges, deeming the statute overbroad. This case underscores the complexities and legal ramifications of online impersonation.
Texas Penal Code § 33.07 addresses online impersonation. Although portions of the statute have faced constitutional challenges and were narrowed by courts, the legislature amended the law, and it remains enforceable in revised form. This statute aims to address the growing issue of online harassment and impersonation. It reflects how technology can escalate personal conflicts, particularly during a divorce.
Moreover, such actions often result in privacy breached scenarios, further complicating divorce proceedings. At the Law Office of Bryan Fagan PLLC, we are dedicated to helping you navigate these challenging situations. Whether dealing with online impersonation or other forms of embarrassing your spouse during a Texas divorce, our team is here to protect your rights and ensure your privacy remains intact.
Under Texas Penal Code 33.07. ONLINE IMPERSONATION

(a) A person commits an offense if the person, without obtaining the other person’s consent and with the intent to harm, defraud, intimidate, or threaten any person, uses the name or persona of another person to:
- create a web page on a commercial social networking site or other Internet website; or
- post or send one or more messages on or through a commercial social networking site or other Internet website, other than on or through an electronic mail program or message board program.
(b) A person commits an offense if the person sends an electronic mail, instant message, text message, or similar communication that references a name, domain address, phone number, or other item of identifying information belonging to any person:
- without obtaining the other person’s consent;
- with the intent to cause a recipient of the communication to reasonably believe that the other person authorized or transmitted the communication; and
- with the intent to harm or defraud any person.
(c) An offense under Subsection (a) is a felony of the third degree. An offense under Subsection (b) is a Class A misdemeanor, except that the offense is a felony of the third degree if the actor commits the offense with the intent to solicit a response by emergency personnel.
Conclusion
So there you have it—the legal reality behind embarrasing your spouse during a Texas divorce. Whether you’re thinking about exposing private messages, confronting a paramour, or asking can you sue a mistress in Texas, the answer is often more complicated than emotions make it seem. Think of it like this: you wouldn’t want to be caught on camera doing the chicken dance at a wedding, right? Well, dragging your spouse through the mud is pretty much the same thing, but with far worse consequences.
Let’s face it, divorce is already a rollercoaster ride of emotions without adding public humiliation into the mix. Imagine running into your ex at your kid’s school event, knowing you posted those embarrassing photos. Awkward, right? Plus, you could end up paying for it—literally—with higher legal fees and possibly losing custody battles.
But don’t fret! There’s a brighter path. Picture this: a calm, composed you, handling things with dignity and maturity. Your future self will thank you, and so will your kids, friends, and even your ex (well, maybe not immediately, but eventually).
So, if you’re tempted to go down the revenge route, remember the golden rule: what goes around, comes around. Take a deep breath, count to ten, and take the high road. It might not be as satisfying in the short term. In the grand scheme of things, however, it’s the best way to protect your peace and sanity.
And who knows? Maybe someday, you’ll be the one giving sage advice to a friend in the same boat, telling them how you navigated your divorce without the drama. Now, wouldn’t that be a story worth sharing?
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes, you can. Posting private messages, photos, or accusations online may expose you to claims of harassment, defamation, or even criminal charges if intimate images are involved under Texas Penal Code § 21.16. Even if it is not criminal, judges can consider your behavior when deciding property division or custody. What feels like revenge in the moment can hurt your case long term.
Generally, no. Texas does not recognize alienation of affection claims, so you cannot sue someone simply for having an affair with your spouse. However, if marital funds were spent on the affair, you may have a reimbursement claim against your spouse. The third party can also be subpoenaed if their testimony is relevant to the divorce.
Possibly, but only if you can prove legal adultery. Texas courts may award a disproportionate share of community property if fault, including adultery, is proven. However, public humiliation is not the same as legal proof, and reckless behavior can damage your credibility with the court.
Absolutely. Texas courts decide custody based on the best interest of the child under Texas Family Code § 153.002. Engaging in criminal behavior, harassment, or online misconduct can raise serious concerns about judgment and parental fitness. Judges look closely at whether a parent can provide a stable and responsible environment.
- Why embarrassing your spouse during a divorce is a bad idea
- Legal Requirements for Divorce Texas: A Complete Guide to Filing Your Texas Divorce
- What Happens After You Serve Your Spouse Texas Divorce Papers?
- Your Legal Options in Texas When Your Wife Cheats
- Can’t Locate Your Spouse? Here’s How to Get a Texas Divorce
- Conducting Yourself Well Inside and Outside the Courtroom Is Essential to Having a Successful Divorce
- Anticipate What Your Narcissist Spouse Will Do Concerning Your Texas Divorce
- Email Essentials for Effective Communication With Your Ex-spouse
- Mistakes to Avoid Making in Your Child Custody Case
- The Dirty Trick of Using Delaying Tactics During Your Texas Divorce
