If you have recently gone through a divorce then you are well aware that your life has seen changes. Some of these changes have been significant, such as moving residences or losing a person that used to reside with you. You may have had to change jobs in order to earn more income due to the loss of your spouse’s contributions to the family budget. The couch that you watch television on and even your automobile may no longer be with you after the divorce.
What you should also be considering (if you haven’t already) is how the changes associated with your divorce are affecting your children. You may take solace and comfort in the fact that your children are involved in school and extracurricular activities with the hope that what you and your ex spouse have had to go through has only minimally impacted them. While each child will deal with divorce in their own unique way, you can be sure of the fact that your children have changes to deal with as well.
What sort of changes to children experience after a divorce is finalized?
We have already touched on one significant change and that is you and your ex spouse no longer residing together. This means that your children will have multiple residences in which they will spend the night and this takes a lot of time to get used for most children.
If you or your spouse now have to work when you did not have to before this means after school care may have to be provided by a family member or daycare. The comfort and familiarity that your children previously knew is going to be altered to some degree no matter how hard you and your spouse have worked to maintain the children’s previous lives.
How does school fit into the changes in the post-divorce lives of your children?
Your children’s school can offer a sense of normalcy and consistency in the lives of your children after your divorce has been finalized. The routine of classroom lessons, friends, and even homework can allow your children the time they need to get away from the changes we’ve discussed in this blog post and instead focus on material that affects their day to day life away from family.
Some children are forced to switch schools due to a parent needing to move from their prior home or because their primary residence is switching to a parent that had to move out of the family home as a result of the divorce. If you find yourself in a position where you are considering a divorce and its impact on where your children attend school there are considerations to make.
From my experiences as an attorney with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC here are five items to think about as you ponder this subject in conjunction with a divorce:
Family may be more important to your child’s long term development than remaining in the same school.
All things being equal it may be ideal to have your children remain in their same school after a divorce in order to avoid the sort of disruptions and uncertainties that we have already discussed.
However, if a move has been made necessary as part of a divorce, or if you simply believe it to be in the best interests of your children, then it is not wrong to push forward towards changing schools. While your self confidence may be a little damaged as a result of your divorce you need to remember that you have the duty to act in what you believe to be your child’s best interests.
Change is sometimes what your child needs
While there is a great deal to be said for maintaining the security and familiarity of your children’s school it could be that making the move to a new school is actually what your child needs right now. Their old school may be a reminder of their old life- for good and bad.
A change of scenery may allow your child to grow and develop in an environment where there are no preconceived notions about their family or their past.
Listen to your child
Obviously if your child is extremely young or has other factors in play that limit their ability to present an opinion about the situation then please take this piece of advice with a grain of salt. On the other hand, listening to the opinions of your children on what to do may be a good thing for you.
After all, the decision will impact them the most of anyone. While you ultimately will make the decision, simply asking your children their opinion can help them to feel involved in the process and that what they say matters to you. During a time in their lives where they may feel ignored or inconsequential the simple feeling of being heard can make a tremendous difference to them and to your family as a whole.
The bottom line: each family is different and you need to listen to help make decisions
After a long divorce it is easy to feel as if your patience for cooperating with others has worn thin. It’s most likely that you’ve negotiated long and hard with your ex-spouse on a divorce settlement that neither of you are 100% happy with.
However, now is not the time to stop listening to your family’s concerns and thoughts. This includes your children. As adults we can become blind to the needs of our children during stressful or traumatic times. One way to ensure that we make good decisions is to open our ears and eyes to what is happening around us. Taking in as much information as possible and then applying what we’ve learned will result in a better decision than shutting off the world and relying only on your own perceptions to make a decision.
Questions on post-divorce life? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC
The time to think about your life after a divorce is after the paperwork has been signed off on by the judge, but before a divorce has even been filed. The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC are experienced in counseling clients in all areas of family law and divorce. If you are interested in learning more about our office please do not hesitate to contact us today for a free of charge consultation with one of our licensed family law attorneys.
If you want to know more about what you can do, CLICK the button below to get your FREE E-book: “16 Steps to Help You Plan & Prepare for Your Texas Divorce”
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Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC | Kingwood Divorce Lawyer
The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC routinely handles matters that affect children and families. If you have questions regarding divorce, it's important to speak with ar Kingwood, TX Divorce Lawyer right away to protect your rights.
A divorce lawyer in Kingwood TX is skilled at listening to your goals during this trying process and developing a strategy to meet those goals. Contact Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC by calling (281) 810-9760 or submit your contact information in our online form. The Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC handles Divorce cases in Spring, Texas, Cypress, Spring, Klein, Humble, Kingwood, Tomball, The Woodlands, Houston, the FM 1960 area, or surrounding areas, including Harris County, Montgomery County, Liberty County, Chambers County, Galveston County, Brazoria County, Fort Bend County and Waller County.