I wish I could tell you when this pandemic what’s going to come to an end. Not only do I want to that for the sake of your family but the sake of my family as well. The fact is we’re all anxiously awaiting an end to the time that we will need to be concerned with the health and safety of our family and with the ability of our family to be mobile and move about our community. I think we all took for granted to a certain extent just how easy it was to be able to get up and go to work, to a place of recreation, or a house of worship without giving it a second thought. Now we’ve all come to realize that doing these things can have consequences in the exemplary scenario.
Unfortunately, we find ourselves in that kind of scenario right now. The pandemic is forced us to make changes in our daily lives as we face the challenges posed by this pandemic. I am not here to guess how long these changes will need to be a part of our lives, but I am here to give perspective on how you and your family can meet the challenges as seen inexperienced by almost everyone in our community. We have all seen the advertisements on TV about how we’re all in this together and how even though we are separated, we are more connected in these times than we may believe. While this may be true on some levels, I think that, for the most part, the individual circumstances of our families place us all in unique circumstances.
For instance, depending on your financial situation and wake of the pandemic, I could probably tell you how stressful your home environment is. Many people saw their financial lives thrown into disarray due to the coronavirus shutdowns. While the economy is slowly but surely opening up after the initial months of closures, many people saw their jobs eliminated, their work hours reduced, or their position furloughed until further notice; it is a difficult position to be in for your job to be illuminated and for you to have very little if nothing saved in reserve.
Compare those circumstances with the person whose employment is more stable and money saved in the bank. If you are this person, then you are less likely to be concerned over finances and more capable of thinking into the future about how your employment and financial prospects may change over time as the pandemic dissipates, worsens, or goes away altogether. I believe that there is more room for optimism, the more of a solid footing that you and your family find yourselves in when it comes to this pandemic.
The other key attribute that I believe he must look at as far as your prognosis in the wake of this pandemic is the strength and stability of your family. Again, the stronger and more stable your household is, the more likely you all will be able to weather the storms that come along due to this pandemic. If your marriage was on the rocks and you and your spouse were not willing to communicate at the beginning of this process, it is unlikely that the pandemic has brought you all closer together.
This may be contrary to what you believe, but I don’t think these times are designed to bring people to a better understanding of one another if there were already problems, to begin with. The stress associated with the pandemic does not lend itself to a reasonable and rational discussion. I generally believe that this pandemic is a time to be overcome and not a time that you will see much progress being made in your relationship. While your marriage can strengthen during this time if it were strong, to begin with, it is more of a challenge for those of you who came into the pandemic with a marriage that was faltering.
This is what I would like to discuss in today’s blog post. I have four pieces of information that may be valuable for you and your family to keep in mind while keeping your family intact despite the challenges brought about by the coronavirus. Your family may benefit from legal representation if you find yourselves involved in a family law matter related to the pandemic. If so, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan today. We stand ready to assist you and your family and whatever circumstances you all find yourselves in related to Texas family law.
Choose your words carefully and show patience with one another
suppose you combine the stresses brought about by the pandemic with the likelihood that you and your spouse have been spending more time together than in recent years. In that case, you have a potentially explosive situation on your hands. The nice part about having a routine is that you and your spouse can give one another more space when you have activities in work responsibilities to attend to. If you are now working from home and have fewer diversion outlets, you are likely spending more and more time with your spouse.
On the outside, this may seem like a good thing. More time with your spouse could theoretically mean more time for you all to work on the problems that have been a part of your marriage for months or even years. Sometimes married people tend to fall into the trap of routine and think that things are OK when they are not. We can distract ourselves from other things rather than deal with the realities of our marriage. The pandemic may have caused you and your family to realize that there are more issues in your marital relationship than you would have previously believed.
You would thus be in a position where you can either act to improve the quality of your marriage or suffer the consequences of a marriage that has significant fault lines within it. You can have all the good intentions in the world when it comes to helping your wedding, but if you do not know how to act decisively to improve the quality of your relationship, it is unlikely that you would be able to do so. While you likely have many strengths in your life, being a great communicator with your spouse may not be one. How can you overcome the obstacles with communication to strengthen your marriage during this pandemic?
I would recommend that you show a great deal of patience and choose your words carefully when communicating with your spouse. Remember that we’re all on edge in various areas of our lives due to this pandemic. Many of us watch the news with great attention and feel a mounting degree of pressure by the day as the media informs us of the various happenings in our community and the nation as a whole. We can sometimes transfer these concerns and fears into our marriage.
As a result, you may not be able to communicate with your spouse the same way now as you would have three or four months ago. You need to be able to develop an effective way of communicating with your spouse despite these challenges. I find that choosing carefully the things that I say to my spouse is essential in this regard. I am not telling you to be dishonest with your spouse or hide things from them. I am saying that you need to be patient with the things that you say and be understanding of the things they say to you.
This probably sounds a whole lot like being the bigger person. If your spouse says something that you could take the wrong way, I would recommend thinking about the statement made to you and choosing to take the High Road instead. Remember that we are all responsible for the things that we say, but we are not always as considerate as we should be of the feelings of others. Please work with your spouse on how to better communicate with one another period. In the meantime, while you are working on this together, be patient and extend grace to the other person when speaking with them.
Busy yourselves with one another and not with the news
at the beginning of this pandemic, I found myself checking the information and other media outlets for as many updates as I could see regarding the virus. It was curiosity and my innate desire to control my circumstances that led me to do this. Quickly, however, I found that the virus was more in control of the process than I was. In a way, this was comforting for me in that I knew I didn’t have to constantly keep track of the goings out of the virus beyond doing what I had to do to keep my family safe on a fundamental level. Once you can commit yourself and your spouse to perform basic hygiene and follow the same sort of safety guidelines we always follow when interacting with others in public, your responsibility to the world at large pretty much comes to an end.
At that point, your responsibility to your family picks up. Why not take this time to engage more with your family than you have ever? Yes, we are in the middle of summer. Yes, it is hot as can be outside. However, your local pool, parks, and other places of outdoor recreation are still likely to be open. Take the time to engage in those entertainment outlets as much as possible. Otherwise, there are plenty of ways to engage with your family at home on a consistent and relatively inexpensive basis. Do not let the pandemic force you into a situation where you are more stressed than you have to be. Focus on your family and perform essential habits to keep yourself safe.
Two tips in one – think about the present and future.
My wife and I enjoy doing together are; after putting the kids to bed, we will brainstorm goals for ourselves in the next six months and the next few years. This is an exercise in short-term and long-term goal planning. I would recommend that you and your family do the same right now. No matter what your specific circumstances are, you can always take the time to work with one another on creating and achieving goals.
Both short-term and long-term goals are great places to start. If you can conceive of the end first, it becomes easier for you to problem solve and create the path towards achieving those goals. While we live in these times may not provide us with much cause for optimism, I take solace in the old saying that it is always darkest before the dawn. While we have challenges to overcome and immediate problems to address, keeping our eyes on both short- and long-term prizes can do an excellent thing for your family to bring about cohesion in the family and increase the lines of communication between husband and wife.
Questions about Texas family law? Contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan
If you have any questions about the material contained in today’s blog post, please do not hesitate to contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan. Our licensed family law attorneys offer free of charge consultations six days a week in our office, over the phone, and via video. These consultations are an excellent way for you to learn more about Texas family law and our office’s services to you and your family.
Bryan Fagan, a native of Atascocita, Texas, is a dedicated family law attorney inspired by John Grisham’s “The Pelican Brief.” He is the first lawyer in his family, which includes two adopted brothers. Bryan’s commitment to family is personal and professional; he cared for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while completing his degree and attended the South Texas College of Law at night.
Married with three children, Bryan’s personal experiences enrich his understanding of family dynamics, which is central to his legal practice. He specializes in family law, offering innovative and efficient legal services. A certified member of the College of the State Bar of Texas, Bryan is part of an elite group of legal professionals committed to ongoing education and high-level expertise.
His legal practice covers divorce, custody disputes, property disputes, adoption, paternity, and mediation. Bryan is also experienced in drafting marital property agreements. He leads a team dedicated to complex family law cases and protecting families from false CPS allegations.
Based in Houston, Bryan is active in the Houston Family Law Sector of the Houston Bar Association and various family law groups in Texas. His deep understanding of family values and his professional dedication make him a compassionate advocate for families navigating Texas family law.