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How to keep from getting a divorce in Texas

You may be thrown off by a family law firm attorney writing a blog post on how to not get a divorce, but your eyes are not fooling you. So often people get married due to particular situations that they’ve put themselves in and not because they are in a position in their lives to actual commit to another person. We all know that nobody is perfect and I’m not here to try and tell you otherwise. However, if you believe that a divorce is an inevitability it rarely in fact is.

The attorneys with the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC would like to share with you some advice on how to either avoid entering into a marriage that is destined for divorce or how to salvage a marriage that already appears that way.

The couple that works at maintaining a strong relationship

If you are in a marriage the odds are good that you either have kids/a job/a mortgage or some combination of these factors. My point is that most marriages do not allow for you to spend one hundred percent of your attention on your spouse. The ability for spouses to make time for one another are the spouses that are able to avoid filing for divorce.

There is a theme that will be established with each piece of advice and it begins here: nothing listed here is going to be easy. All of these tips take actual effort and commitment to undertake. The faster you understand this and begin to embody it the better your marriage will be for the long haul.

The couple that discusses financial issues together

It’s no secret that trust and communication are hallmarks of any strong marriage. It’s also no secret that troubled finances can quickly lead to a troubled marriage. Eliminate either risk to your marriage- the failure to communicate/trust and the failure to fully disclose all concerns with money- by openly and honestly discussing your finances with your spouse.

This does not mean that you both have to be head over heels for math, spreadsheets and budgeting. It does mean that both you and your spouse will need to take active and involved roles in the determining the financial course that your marriage will take. What are your goals, re: retirement? How are you going to pay for your son’s football season and your daughter’s first year of college? How much should be spent at the grocery store each week? Big picture and little picture items alike need to be discussed between you and your spouse when it comes to money. If you can manage to do this your marriage will be stronger for it.

Show your children how to be husband and wife AND mom and dad

Your children’s primary teachers in life are not found in the classroom, in the church or on television. You and your spouse are their primary teachers and role models. If you don’t think this is the case and a divorce becomes your reality the State of Texas will make this abundantly clear to you by outlining each and every responsibility you have as a parent in Texas.

Many spouses focus so hard on their children that they forget how to actually operate as a husband/wife with their spouse. Maybe you find yourself in this situation. How do you strike a balance while still putting your children’s interests as high as they possibly can be? Spouses that make time for one another are more likely than not to have marriages that last. This strengths the familial unit and provides an example to your children of how married people relate to one another and raise a family. For you and your spouse, regular activities together apart from the children does wonders for your collective peace of mind and general sanity. As parents of a twenty month old daughter and a five month old daughter, this is something I can personally attest to!

Remember that your marriage belongs to you and your spouse- nobody else

Everyone has a family, no matter how large or how small. We rely (rightfully) on our family for advice on a wide range of subjects including our marriage. If you have a family member (or whole side of the family) that enjoys giving unsolicited marriage advice it is important to be able to establish boundaries with them so that they know when the advice they’re provided is welcomed and when it is simply inappropriate. I don’t mean to never turn to family in times of need for their perspective. That’s a huge service that families can provide married couples- especially newly married couples. However, I have seen marriages ruined in no small part to the meddling of a mother in law, father in law or other family member.

An example of this can be seen with a former client of the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC. Throughout the entirety of the divorce our client was getting advice from their parents as to how to proceed with the divorce from a strategic standpoint. Not only was this harming our client, it was making our lives as attorneys more difficult. Fortunately we were able to sit down with our client and speak to him openly about the situation. He addressed his parents regarding our concerns and the unprompted advice from his parents was never again an issue.

Questions on this blog post? Please contact the Law Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC

Even if you feel like it is, divorce does not simply become an option overnight. Likewise, a strong marriage does not develop overnight. It takes time, effort and commitment. There are many pieces of good advice available for you to read and take into consideration but our office wanted to provide you with these ones for you to look over and think about.

TheLaw Office of Bryan Fagan, PLLC represents clients across southeast Texas and would be honored to do the same for you and your family. To learn more about our office and the services we provide please do not hesitate to contact us today.